


I Looked Into Your Eyes And Saw Light

by paradox_slime



Series: If You're Wondering If I Want You To (I Want You To) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura Drives a Minivan, Angst, College!AU, Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Gay PiningTM, Keith is Kind of An Asshole for a Bit, Lots Of Tropes TM, M/M, Pidge is non-binary, Slow Burn, The Paladins Share a Dorm, Trans!Keith AU, Very Very Slow Burn, keith is trans, klance, lance is bi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-01-29 20:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_slime/pseuds/paradox_slime
Summary: Keith Kogane lives in a college dorm room with his best and closest friends, Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Katie 'Pidge' Holt, and Hunk Garrett. His life is relatively normal, except for one thing. He is transgender. No one except for his roommates know, and his strictly anti-social lifestyle helps to keep it that way.That is, until he meets Lance McClain.As soon as Lance enters his life, Keith finds himself struggling to keep up with the world around him, and ultimately, with his feelings for Lance. How far can he go before it comes time for Lance to know the truth? And what will happen next?
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: If You're Wondering If I Want You To (I Want You To) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543906
Comments: 13
Kudos: 115





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, holy crap. I have never been more nervous to post anything than I am to post this. This is a fic I've been working on for over a year now, and it's still not finished. This fic was inspired by a roleplay I was writing with one of my favorite people and one of my closest friends, Rider. Rider and I fell so hard for Voltron, and we have matching Voltron tattoos. Cringey, yes. Keith has been my favorite from episode one, and Lance theirs. Made sense that we'd end up writing a Klance roleplay. This is honest to god one of the most intricate projects I've ever worked on, and one of the slowest burns I've ever written. I'm really hoping that you will like this, whoever is reading this. I hope you enjoy this, I worked very hard on it :)

It had taken Keith a while to adjust to having friends. Growing up, he moved around far too quickly to hold anything more than a conversation or two with his classmates. Not to mention he had a bit of an attitude problem. He’d never admit it of course, but he wasn’t ignorant. He never had any issues with his parents, he knew they loved him… Until he came out as trans. From then on, he wasn’t too sure.

As soon as he had come out, it was like a switch had flipped in his parents. They stopped giving him the time of day, they stopped paying attention, and they stopped showing him they cared. From the day he came out and onwards, he communicated very little with his parents. It made it easier for him to go away to school.

Currently, Keith attended a small, quiet college in Northern California. He wasn’t there long before he met his oldest and closest friend, a kind Japanese-American guy with one arm named Takashi Shirogane, or “Shiro” for short.

Shiro had almost instantly taken to Keith, and claimed to have ‘adopted’ him. Shiro explained to Keith that he had lost his arm in a severe accident, in which he also earned the faded, jagged pink scar that rested across the bridge of his nose.

When he was nearby, Keith felt like he could relax, like he’d be safe. He spent most of his first semester hanging with Shiro, and eventually, he told him his secret. Instead of the silently painful backlash he’d expected, he got a warm bear-hug, and Keith cried. It was the first time he had ever cried in front of anyone. From that point on, Keith knew he could count on and trust Shiro with everything. He would even go as far as thinking of him as if he were an older brother.

Eventually, Shiro introduced Keith to his two friends, Hunk Garrett and Katie “Pidge Gunderson” Holt. The story of how Pidge got their nickname was a wild one, and when they were done telling it, made Keith swear to not call them by the name Katie. It felt alien to them. Keith nodded, completely understanding.

Pidge was fiery, yet aloof. They were incredibly smart, along with Hunk, who was a total sweetheart. The two had been friends for quite some time, and did almost everything together. They weren’t dating, as Hunk was happily dating a girl named Shay. They liked to mess with people who believed otherwise, though. Hunk and Pidge were both studying to be something like astrophysicists, but Keith wasn’t too certain. Whatever it was had a long name. He liked the two plenty, and warmed up to them as well.

It was another few months before Keith confessed his secret to them, and braced himself for more rejection. Instead, he got acceptance, as Shiro had predicted. The four of them became a very tightly-knit unit, much to Shiro’s excitement.

It didn’t take long for them to request a suite large enough for them to all fit in, and thus began their lives as an impromptu college family.

They all pitched in for groceries. Hunk liked to cook, Shiro took out the garbage, Pidge did everyone’s laundry (much to their usual dismay), and Keith was left with cleaning the dorm. No one complained about their respective chores, and worked as a unit to keep their little home running. In the mornings, they all congregated to the main sitting room to sip on warm coffee and groan about their classes and the workloads that came with them. During the day, they all went about their business as individuals. In the evenings, they ate dinner together and talked about their day, bickering and joking like families do. Some nights, they’d all pile together on the shabby futon that sat in the middle of the room and watch some garbage movie on Netflix, chomping on popcorn and other sweets.

Keith was reminded every single day of how lucky he was to have found an actual group of people who he loved, who he could call his own, his family. He remained untrusting to the rest of the world, opting to deem people untrustworthy unless they proved otherwise. He didn’t really speak to his other classmates unless he had to, and isolated himself from his blood relatives. He didn’t care for people who wouldn’t accept him as he was.

It was easier that way. He never had to worry about common friend dramas, unless it was one of his own friends complaining about something that happened outside of their little group. He acknowledged that his friends had other friends, and he didn’t mind. As long as they were happy, he was, too.

They would invite him along if they ever went out with their other friends, but he always declined and chose to hang back, enjoying his quiet time with a book. He didn’t mind having his group, but didn’t personally care to widen his circle.

Things stayed this way for a year, and suddenly, they were all juniors.

This semester, Keith, Hunk, and Pidge all had the same art class, with Professor Wimbleton-Smythe. He had asked them all to just call him Coran. The class was pretty simple, and Coran had even told them that the class was going to be mostly freeform work. Pidge, Hunk and Keith had all opted to sit at the same table, for obvious reasons. All of the other tables were full or had three people, leaving just a few seats open.

Just a couple of weeks into the semester, the trio were seated in Coran’s class when there was a soft knock at the door. Coran told the class to hang tight as he went to investigate outside. When he returned there was a young man with smooth, caramel colored skin and cropped brown hair following behind him, and they stopped in the front of the room.

“Well, class, we’ve got a new student in today!” Coran announced in his thick Australian accent. “Everyone, this is Lance, Lance McClain. Lance, you can take a seat anywhere. Today we’re starting a new project, so you’re just in time to participate.”

Lance nodded with a soft, but mildly confident smile at the eager, red-haired professor. He scanned the room briefly before his eyes stopped on Keith’s table. Keith’s stomach dropped as the new student made his way for the open seat next to Hunk.

Great.

Keith ducked his head as the new kid situated himself across the table from him, trying to avert his gaze to the front of the room where Professor Smythe was standing. The three made their quick and quiet introductions, and Keith only looked over when his name was spoken.

Lance gave him a shy wave, to which he responded with a curt glare.

Hunk leaned over to whisper to Lance, “Don’t take it personally. The only people Keith likes are us. He doesn’t like people.”

Keith huffed, focusing on the Professor. Lance nodded, following suit.

The class went smoothly. Coran explained to them what their next and newest project would be, and gave them the rest of the class to start brainstorming their ideas. The following class would be a lab to start working on them seriously. As soon as Professor Smythe was finished explaining and gave them the okay to start working, Keith had his  
phone out and his headphones in, drowning out all conversation and immersing himself in his daily solitude.

He hardly interacted with his friends during class, as he was usually focused on his work. However, when they were out of school, he would devote his attention to them completely, letting himself laugh and have a good time with them. Today was no excuse, and his choice to isolate himself was all the more valid due to the stranger who now sat at their table.

By the end of class, Keith had planned out his entire project, and had even started sketching out the real picture. He made routine checks to the time on his phone screen until the time read that class was over, and he packed up diligently. He turned to Pidge and then Hunk respectively, waving goodbye. He paid no mind to Lance, keeping his headphones in as he hustled out of the room briskly.

Hunk sighed after him and watched as he left. He turned to Lance, who looked beside himself. “Don’t worry about him, Lance,” Hunk said reassuringly, placing a hand over his shoulder. “He’ll come around eventually. Until then, you have me’n Pidge! What class do you have next?”

Lance followed suit in his friends’ behavior, packing up his supplies and following them out of the room. “Oh, my next class isn’t till later. I have my English class in a few hours.”

“I gotta go get ready for my yoga class, I’ll catch you guys later,” Pidge said, waving as they headed off in the other direction, leaving just Hunk and Lance.

“I don’t have any other classes today, all of mine are in the morning,” Hunk explained. “Wanna go grab something to eat? There are a bunch of good places to eat on campus,” he said.

Lance brightened considerably. “Heck yeah,” he said, nodding eagerly. “Lead the way, Hunk my man,”

The latter grinned, leading Lance out the nearest exit and down a winding sidewalk path to the main building across the main courtyard.

Keith was also free for the rest of the day, but decided going back to their suite by himself would fare much better than going to grab lunch with the new guy. When he forced himself through the door and pushed it shut with his foot, he looked up to find Shiro coming out of their small bathroom.

He tossed his head to the side to clear all the hair from his vision, dropping his school supplies on the table so he could use both of his hands to pry his boots off.

“Hey,” Shiro said warmly. Then he noticed Keith’s sour expression, and his own melted into one of concern. “You okay, buddy?”

Keith huffed, setting his shoes by the pile next to the door. “Yeah,” he responded gruffly. “Just… this new guy came into our art class today and decided to sit his ass down at our table, of all tables. There were five other open seats, and he chose to sit next to Hunk.”

Shiro snorted. “Keith, you don’t own the table,” he said, dropping onto their futon. “Besides, I don’t blame him for sitting next to Hunk. He’s a visibly nice guy,” he said with a laugh.

Keith glared half-heartedly at him. “Yeah, but you know why I’m frustrated.”

Shiro sobered a bit, nodding his understanding. “Yeah, I do. But Keith, you can’t just keep putting off making friends forever. Not everyone is going to hate you because of who you are.”

He glared at the floor. “Maybe, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. And he doesn’t really seem like my kind of person anyway. From what I heard through my headphones, he’s loud, obnoxious, and super self-absorbed.”

Shiro stared at his friend incredulously. “Keith, that’s harsh,” he said. “You’ve known the guy for one day. You can’t just make assumptions like that about someone you sat next to for two and a half hours.”

Keith looked up at Shiro, knowing he was right. He didn’t want to admit it, but there was no way in hell he’d willingly make friends with someone like Lance. “Whatever. I’m not gonna hang out with him, though.”

“No one said you have to,” Shiro shot back as Keith stood. “Just don’t be so hard on the guy.”

“No promises,” Keith muttered as he grabbed his things, heading for his room. He needed a hot shower and some time alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone that took the time to read the first chapter of my story! I plan on posting more or less every Tuesday till this part is all the way up. So far I have parts one and two written, so after I'm done posting part one, I'll go on hiatus until part three is done. Thank you again for reading! Enjoy chapter two.

Keith believed that if he kept ignoring Lance, they’d never have to speak to each other. Boy was he fucking wrong.

Lance McClain was the single most persistent human being Keith had ever had the displeasure of meeting. He was loud, and openly set on making Keith his friend. He hated it.

The art class Keith had once found peaceful now made him dread waking up and leaving their room. Walking across campus, his legs felt as heavy as lead. He scowled as he entered the room and set his eyes on their table. No surprise here, Lance was in his usual seat next to Hunk.

Keith shuffled over reluctantly, having to mentally corral himself over to their table. He set his things down and sat, digging through his bag for his headphones. He felt around in the pocket he usually kept them in for a moment before his heart sank into his stomach.

No, there’s no fucking way they weren’t in here. There was absolutely no way he’d make it through class without them. He felt around in every pocket, every zippered-off pouch, every compartment. No sign of them. He dropped his head to the table and groaned quietly.

Lance noticed this and turned to him, concerned. “Keith, are you okay?” he asked carefully.

Keith stiffened, but refused to answer. Hunk and Pidge glanced at each other, and Hunk sighed before speaking up, repeating Lance’s question.

“Keith, are you okay?” he asked dryly.

Keith lifted his head to look at Hunk and Hunk only. “I left my headphones on my bed.” he grumbled.

Lance’s face lit up. “Oh, I have a pair you can-”

Keith’s head snapped in his direction. “I don’t want your headphones.” he snapped.

Lance froze, swallowing. “O-okay, sorry dude.” he said, putting his bag back down onto the floor.

Hunk and Pidge once again exchanged a glance, worried. They both knew Keith was being harsh for no reason, but didn’t have the heart to say anything in class. They knew it would only make him angry, and Keith had a short fuse.

Keith broke out his project, having almost completed it. It was nearly done, he just had a few more areas left to shade, and it’d be ready to hand in. When Professor Smythe entered the room, he addressed the class.

“Good morning everyone!” he exclaimed, setting his bag down on his desk. “I hope your projects are all coming along nicely, as you only have today and next class to finish them up."

A few groans and some disgruntled shuffling broke the near silence of the room, causing Coran to hold up a hand to silence them again. “This should be enough time, but if something comes up, please run it by me and we can figure it out. We only have a couple months left of classes, so our next project and our final project will take up the remaining ones. I’ll introduce our next project two classes from now. That’s all!”

Keith settled in to do his work, but felt mild anxiety rise in his chest, as he hardly ever worked without headphones on. He shoved it down, trying to focus on his work. He was starting to work into a groove when he felt eyes on him.

He looked up to find Lance staring at him, and the paper below his fingers. After a moment, he rolled his eyes impatiently.

“What?” he snapped yet again, causing Lance to blink.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to stare. I just wanted to tell you that I like the way your project is coming out. You’re talented.” he said warmly.

Keith narrowed his eyes. He looked down at his paper appreciatively. Without looking up again, he mumbled, “Thanks.”

Lance smiled at the word, counting it as a win. Hunk blinked, surprised at his grumpy friend. He hardly used his manners at all with people he didn’t like. Maybe he’d come around after all.

By the end of class, Keith was finished with his project, along with Pidge. Hunk was almost done, and Lance had about a quarter of his left unshaded.

The former two brought their finished products up to Professor Smythe’s desk, getting his approval to leave the class a few minutes early. Pidge told Keith to wait up a moment as they headed back over to their table. They exchanged a few words with Hunk, then hustled back over to the door.

“Shall we?” they said, pushing out the door first, holding it open for him to follow.

They exited the building, taking the short trip over to the main building and to the coffee shop located inside. They hopped onto the short line, eyes briefly glued to the menu.

“So what’d you say to Hunk before we left?” Keith asked curiously, deciding mentally what he wanted with a nod.

Pidge looked at him after they figured out what they wanted. “I just told him we were coming here and to meet us if he wanted.” they replied.

Keith nodded. After a moment, it was his turn. He placed his order and waited off to the side, and Pidge followed suit. The small cafe wasn’t terribly busy, so it wasn’t long before both of their names were called. They settled in at their usual table on the right side of the room, right next to the window.

“What did you get?” Keith ask, blowing on his coffee before taking a regretful sip. “Hot,” he hissed.

Pidge took a sip of theirs, which was iced. “I got one of those mermaid iced frappe thingys.” they said, licking their lips before taking a second swig.

Keith grimaced. “Ew, those things are chock full of sugar and food coloring. Not to mention yours is iced, you monster. It’s the beginning of October.”

Pidge grinned at his obvious distaste. “I need this sugar, man. I’ve got like, three papers to write by the end of the week, and they’re all for the same class.” They huffed a content sigh after another sip of their monstrously colored drink, then nodded toward the bland cup situated in Keith’s lap. “What about you?”

Keith shrugged. “Just a little espresso,” he said, taking a sip. It was still hot, but not as bad as before.

It was Pidge’s turn to gag. “Espresso is so bitter, you weirdo. I like my coffee bitter too, but now you’re the monster.”

Keith shook his head as he stifled a laugh, turning his head to look out the window and into the main courtyard. His smile immediately dissipated when he caught Hunk following Lance into the building. “Fuck,” he hissed.

Pidge tried to follow his eye, but Hunk was already inside. “What?”

Keith sunk into his chair, eyebrows knitting in frustration. “Wait for it.” he grumbled.

After just a few moments, Hunk wandered into the coffee shop accompanied by Lance, who seemed like he had just been laughing. Pidge caught sight of them and waved them over, much to Keith’s dismay.

Hunk spotted Pidge quickly, leading Lance over. As soon as they were within a few feet, Keith had ducked his head and pressed his lips to the hole in the lid of his cup. He scowled at Pidge who seemed sufficiently smug with Keith’s reaction.

“Hey guys,” Hunk said. “I brought Lance, his next class doesn’t start for a bit.”

“Awesome,” Pidge replied, staring directly at Keith. “He’s perfectly welcome to hang out with us, whenever he wants.”

Keith glared at them, mouthing ‘fuck you’. Pidge gave him the finger where Lance couldn’t see it, and Keith rolled his eyes.

Lance, oblivious to the interaction, nudged Hunk. “How ‘bout we grab some coffee and come back?” he suggested lightly, to which Hunk nodded his approval. The two headed over to the counter to get on the line, which had extended a bit since Keith and Pidge’s arrival.

It wasn’t long before Hunk and Lance returned. They both joined Keith and Pidge at their table, setting their things on the ground. The conversation began animatedly and kept it’s pace, but Keith didn’t participate. He didn’t exactly need to, what with Hunk and Pidge carrying most of it. Lance piped in when necessary, but for the most part just listened until he could actually hold the topic.

Keith eventually grew fed up with all of the noise, which made his head buzz. Without a word, he stood, collected his things, and left the coffee shop. The three remaining stared after him as he left, the banter having stopped with the sudden shift in atmosphere.

Hunk and Pidge exchanged a glance, then turned to their new friend, who was visibly distraught.

“Lance, don’t take it personally,” Hunk reminded him for the umpteenth time. “This is just how Keith is.”

Lance rolled his cup between his hands for a moment before replying. “But I don’t get it,” he started, glancing between his two new friends. “I’ve barely said anything to him, and he still ignores me and gives me a freakin’ stink-eye every time I so much as look in his general direction. I even offered to let him borrow my headphones today, and he snapped at me. Why is he so… difficult?”

Pidge bit their lip. “It’s really not our place to say anything, but I will tell you this. Keith hasn’t had it easy. He’s been through a lot, and it’s kind of gotten to the point where he just… doesn’t trust anyone anymore. It took him months to say more than five words at once to either of us. And even longer for him to show us any kind of real emotion. Keith’s… a bit of a complex guy. He’s got a lot going on, and he’s just… I don’t know, fed up with getting hurt.”

Lance looked back down at his cup, nodding slowly as he processed the information. “I guess that makes sense. But still, I’m just trying to be friends with the guy. I don’t want to hurt him, just be his friend.”

Hunk placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder, a supportive smile on his face. “We know, dude, just give him some time. You two are kinda polar opposites, so it might take him a minute to warm up to you.”

Lance nodded again, staring at the chair where Keith was sitting for a moment before shaking it off.

After taking another sip of his drink, Hunk hummed. “Y’know, Keith’s birthday is coming up. Maybe you could do something for him,”

“I dunno, Hunk, that might do more harm than good,” Pidge warned. “Keith doesn’t really celebrate his birthday, and you know it.”

“Well it might be nice to celebrate it for once! And it could score Lance some brownie points!” he replied animatedly.

Lance glanced between the two of them, an idea brewing in his head. “When’s his birthday?”

When Keith forced open the door to their suite, Shiro poked his head out of his room to see who it was.

“Oh, hey, Keith, just you?” he asked, stepping into the small living area.

Keith slipped his shoes off and left them where he usually did next to the others’. He plopped down onto their futon, crossing his arms. “Yeah, everyone else is too busy hanging out with Lance,” he grumbled petulantly.

Shiro rolled his eyes and sat down next to Keith. “Keith, I think you’re being a little too stubborn about this. From what Pidge and Hunk told me, Lance is a perfectly nice guy.”

Keith glared at the wall. “He isn’t. He’s loud and obnoxious, and likes to brag about things he shouldn’t. He tells Hunk about all the people he hooks up with. It’s gross. He’s gross.”

Shiro sighed. “So Lance has an avid sex life, and he enjoys it. Who gives a shit? If he wants to tell Hunk, let him.”

Keith gritted his teeth. “He has no personal boundaries. He’s all over the place, like a goddamn trainwreck.”

“Everyone is different, Keith. You of all people should know that.”

Keith turned to him in disbelief. “Of course I know that,” he snapped, his face on fire with a sudden burst of emotion. “So what, I’m supposed to just turn around, go back on everything I’ve built for myself in the last nine years of my life, and just let him in, just like that?”

Shiro wince, immediately realizing what he said wasn’t a good decision. “No, Keith, that’s not what I-”

“Just because everyone else I’ve let into my life hasn’t felt the same shit I have, I’m supposed to just be this trusting kind of guy, the one who repeatedly gets kicked in the shin for wearing his heart on his fucking sleeve? Is that what you think I should do, Shiro?”

Shiro rubbed his face with his palm, sighing aggressively. “Keith, you need to let this go for a minute and-”

“Let this go? Are you joking? You of all people should know that that’s never gonna happen. Because guess what? You don’t ever just forget the way you were treated by your own parents for six and a half years of your life. You don’t just let that shit go, Shiro. You never do.”

Keith’s eyes were damp with anger as he stared Shiro down before grabbing his things and fleeing to his room. He climbed onto his bed with his back against the wall, curling up and burying his face into his pillow.

When they were done at the coffee shop, Lance parted ways with Hunk and Pidge reluctantly. He wanted to stay with them, but knew he couldn’t miss his next class.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Hunk said, “He really is a chill dude. We have a communications class together, and before class the other day, he told me how bothered he is by Keith’s behavior towards him. He really just wants us to like him, y’know?”

Pidge nodded, staring down at the sidewalk as they pressed on. “Yeah, I get how he feels. Keith’s so… unmoving. He’s so set in his deluded belief that everyone’s out to get him, but how can you blame him?”

The two went silent in agreement.

“I just wish we could get him to see that it’s not like that. Things are different here.” Hunk said quietly.

Pidge nodded again. “I know. All we can do is hope he’ll maybe see it on his own.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course I had to do a birthday chapter.

Keith’s birthday fell on a Wednesday this year. It was the one miserable day of the week that he had to see Lance, and the one morning a week that would deny him coffee if he didn’t get up in time. Unfortunately, today was one of those days. He figured that because it was his birthday, he would let himself sleep the extra hour. Despite getting extra rest, he still woke up groggy.

He rose slowly from his bed, stretching with a yawn as he rubbed his eyes. He grabbed his towel and slipped quietly into their bathroom, starting the water and running quickly through his routine. He brushed his teeth and toweled his hair until it was damp, wrapping it around himself so he could make it safely back into his room.

As soon as his door was shut, he locked it. He hung his towel on the hook behind his door and crossed the small room to his dresser. He fished his favorite pair of red briefs from his drawer, snapping the waistband against his skin when he pulled them on. He took his binder from the top of his dresser and wrestled his way into it, making sure everything was in place underneath before seeking out the rest of his outfit.

In the end, he decided on a dark grey pair of jeans, and a deep red t-shirt. He accessorized with his favorite leather jacket, a pair of completely black sneakers, and a grey beanie. It wasn’t anything special, but he felt hot, and that was all that mattered.

He made quick work of packing his backpack, grabbing his large sketchpad and heading out the door.

His first and only class of the day was his art class, the one he had with Pidge and Hunk… and Lance. He took a deep breath before pushing into the building, hoping that the obnoxious new peer wouldn’t make the next few hours hellish.

When he arrived, Hunk and Pidge were already there, and so was Lance. As soon as he walked in, the three were looking in his direction.

As he neared the table, Hunk and Pidge started singing the Happy Birthday song really softly, and his chest felt warm. “Knock it off,” he said, no malice in his tone.

Despite his weak request, they sang the song the whole way through, presenting him with his favorite pastry from the coffee shop. He smiled and took it gratefully.

“What, you guys got me food but you couldn’t get me any coffee?” he teased, taking a bite of the still-warm muffin.

Lance cleared his throat. “Actually, I got you a coffee,” he said timidly, presenting Keith with a cup. It had a sleeve, and steam seemed to be spilling from the to-go hole in the top. “Pidge told me how you like it, and because it’s your birthday, I figured I’d grab you a coffee. I also got you a gift card, so you don’t have to spend for a while.”

Keith stared at Lance in complete bewilderment. He set the muffin down and took the cup. It was warm to the touch, and it made his cold fingers feel amazing. He took a careful sip, and hummed when it all went down. He traced the side of the cup with his thumb as he watched steam billow out of it.

“Thanks,” he muttered. “I appreciate it.”

A wide smile grew on Lance’s face as he cheered internally. “You’re welcome,” he said. “Happy Birthday, Keith.”

The four got situated at their table as Coran entered, greeting the class with his normal energy and morning enthusiasm, giving a brief summary of what they were going to be doing in class for the day, and what the homework was going to be.

The few hours of class time weren’t horrible, much to Keith’s surprise. He actually found himself tolerating Lance for the first time. Maybe because the boy nailed his coffee, or because he gave him a ticket to about seven or eight free coffees, but Keith felt his usual negative feelings dissipating a bit.

When Professor Smythe dismissed everyone, Keith packed up diligently and left the room, leaving Pidge, Hunk, and Lance in his wake.

He headed back to their room where Shiro was waiting with the small gift he’d gotten him. He hugged and thanked him.

Hunk met them back there a little while later, having also finished his classes for the day. Pidge and Lance both had classes for the next couple hours, but Shiro informed him that when both those two and Allura were free from schoolwork for the day, the six of them were heading to an authentic Japanese restaurant nearby.

Keith was ecstatic, despite the extra person.

Everyone spent the next couple of hours getting ready, and about ten minutes before they were scheduled to leave, Allura and Lance showed up at their dorm looking polished and ready for a fun night out.

The group piled into Allura’s minivan. It wasn’t hers, she commuted to the campus everyday and carpooled with others who needed rides. It wasn’t pretty, but it was efficient and it had grown on her in the best way.

Allura was a close friend of Shiro’s that Keith had gotten to know over the past couple of years. She was tall, almost as tall as Shiro, with a head of gorgeous, curly dark hair. The ends were dyed completely white, with a unique fade from her roots to the tips. Her skin was the color of mocha coffee, just between a dark caramel and a milk chocolate color. Her eyes were friendly and made Keith feel like he could trust her. They were a lovely hazel color, leaning more towards green.

Shiro had known Allura for a long time, and for a little while, she had a crush on him. When she finally confessed how she felt, he told her he was gay, and the two laughed it off. She told him she understood, and the whole situation made them closer. Allura really didn’t understand Keith’s situation, and he never told her. But she supported him wholeheartedly anyways.

Keith sat in the passenger side seat, Shiro and Hunk sat in the middle, and Pidge sat in the very back with Lance. Occasionally, Keith stole glances at everyone in the car, including Lance. Once, their eyes met completely by accident, and Keith spent the rest of the ride glaring out the front windshield.

Lance, however, pouted out the window until they arrived at the restaurant.

Shiro headed in first, securing their reservations, and it wasn’t long before the six were following their eager waitress to a table.

Shiro and Allura insisted Keith sat in the middle of one of the rows rather than on the end so he would be able to see everyone. Shiro sat to his right, and Allura to his left. In front of him was Hunk. In front of Shiro was Pidge, and in front of Allura, Lance.

Their waitress left them with menus before disappearing to go assist another table. She was back after a few minutes and took their drink orders, giving them some more time to look at the menu. The entire group eagerly scanned the menu, deciding quickly what they each wanted.

They were all ready to order by the time she returned, and she swiftly took all of their menus, told them their food would be out soon, and left again.

“So, Keith,” Allura said, turning to him and resting her chin in her palm. “You’re turning twenty-one today, right?” she asked with a wiggle of her manicured eyebrows.

Keith rolled his eyes and played along. “Why, yes, Allura, I am turning twenty-one today.”

Shiro threw his arm around Keith’s shoulders. “I think you know what this means, little brother,” he said, patting Keith’s chest with his free hand.

“Do I?” he asked coyly, smirking at Shiro.

“We have to get you super drunk!” Allura chimed in, leaning against him on his other side.

Keith rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Guys, I have class tomorrow. Not to mention, I get super drunk all the time at parties.”

“Yeah, but that was while you weren’t legally allowed to get drunk,” Pidge pointed out. “Now you can and not get yelled at for it.”

Keith sighed. “If I drink, would it make you guys happy? Will you leave me alone about it?”

Shiro and Allura nodded eagerly.

With another roll of his eyes, Keith caved. “Fine.”

A whoop came from his right and Allura smooched his cheek. Shiro flagged down their waitress and asked her to bring sake, as it was officially Keith’s 21st birthday.

After a quick, reluctant flash of Keith’s ID, the waitress nodded, heading off to get some alcohol for their table.

Their food arrived before he alcohol did, which was good news for them. They started to chow down, and just like that, there was a bottle of alcohol and some disc-shaped cups in front of Shiro. He poured for everyone (even Pidge), and they all toasted to Keith’s birthday. They all took a shot after counting to three, and carried on with their meal.

Shiro paid for the entire meal. Keith was blown away, because the bill was well over a hundred dollars. The merry group all headed back to their dorm, and Allura produced a bottle of peach-flavored vodka from the bag she had left on the futon.

All of Keith’s weak protests were to no avail, and they all got mildly drunk. It didn’t take long for Pidge to call it a night - they were a lightweight and they knew it. They gave Keith a bear hug before retreating to their room for the night, and everyone called a warm goodnight after them.

Allura was next to go. She fell asleep and started snoring lightly on Shiro’s shoulder, so he walked her to his bed and bid everyone goodnight.

All that were left were Keith, Hunk, and Lance.

The room was quiet as the three sat in a bit of a tense silence.

Lance was the first to speak. “Did you have a good twenty-first birthday?” he asked quietly, the alcohol in his system causing him to speak slower and more quietly than usual.

Keith thought for a moment. “Yeah, I think I did,” he murmured, his dark eyes flickering up at him. “...Even though you were there.”

Hunk looked between the two of them hopefully.

Lance snorted. “Even though I was there?” he repeated, incredulous.

The birthday boy yawned and stretched. “Even though you were there.”

A quiet chorus of laughter escaped the three of them.

“I’m so glad you guys are my friends,” Hunk said softly.

“You’re a nerd,” Keith said, the words full of heart despite their insulting implication. “Don’t change, Hunk.” After a few moments, he nodded off, and Lance waited till he was snoring to speak again.

“This is really not good,” he said softly, his eyes tracing the features of Keith’s face.

“What, are you gonna puke?” Hunk said nervously. “Please don’t puke, I’ll puke too,”

Lance shook his head. “I’m not gonna puke, Hunk, relax,” he said, noticing Hunk deflate in relief. “It’s just…”

“Buddy, are you okay?” Hunk asked softly.

“No, I’m not. I…” he swallowed. “I think I’m falling for Keith. Hard.”

The former’s eyes widened. “Wait, seriously?”

Lance nodded. “Seriously. And it.. It just hurts so much every time I’m with him, because I want him to like me so fucking bad. I want to hold him, and I want to kiss him, and make him feel loved. I just… It’s something I know I can’t have, and every time he looks at me with all that distrust…”

Hunk listened intently, feeling his heart ache for his friend.

“I’m not even just saying this because I’m drunk. I mean this so much. And, I want to tell him, but I know there’s no way he’d ever feel the same way about me. We’re so different, and he obviously hates me,” Lance could feel his eyes burn with tears. “I just don’t know how to make him see that I’m not out to get him,”

Hunk sighed, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders and pulling him down onto his own. “I’m sorry buddy,” he said softly. “To be completely honest with you, I don’t think Keith hates you. I think he hates the idea of you coming in here unannounced. Change scares him, ironically. But I think if you just talked to him about it, he’d listen to you, and tell you how he felt without filtering himself.”

Lance let a few tears slip, nodding his head at the information. “You really think so?” he asked quietly, his gaze trailing back to Keith’s sleeping form. 

“I really do,” he replied.

“Thanks, Hunk. You’re my best friend.”

Hunk felt his chest get fuzzy. “And you’re mine, dude.”

When Lance felt better, he sat up, wiping his face.

Hunk stood, stretching. “I’m gonna get Keith to his room, then hit the hay. You’re welcome to knock out on the futon, wouldn’t want you going anywhere at this hour. Especially while you’re drunk.”

Lance smiled at him appreciatively from the floor. “Thanks.”

“Hey Keith,” Hunk murmured, shaking his friend awake.

Keith’s eyes opened groggily. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Wanna go to your room?” 

Keith nodded, slowly sitting up and raising his arms.

Hunk rolled his eyes and scooped Keith up into his arms, carrying him towards the hall.

“G’night, Keith, Happy Birthday,” Lance called softly.

“Thanks,” came the muffled reply before Hunk disappeared into the darkness.

Lance sighed, climbing onto the small futon and curling up, closing his eyes. What a fucking night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short, but meaningful chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm officially a few weeks into this endeavor, so I'd like to say thank you for reading this! It means a lot to me that people are actually taking time out of their lives to read this and respond to it. It feels amazing. I would also like to note that my posting schedule is every Tuesday! Just so there's no confusion. I'm eventually going to drop my social media so you can follow me on other platforms, but I am currently on a social media cleanse of sorts. Anyways, thank you again for reading this, for all the kudos, and the comments. It means the world to me. <3

Keith’s hangover was minor, but annoying to say the least. He woke up to find his binder still on, which caused him to groan. He winced and grimaced as he peeled it off, feeling the pain of wearing it for too long and to sleep start to hit him. He bit his lip to distract from the pain, digging in his drawer for some Tylenol.

He layered on a couple of form-fitting tank-tops and slipped on a baggy t-shirt over it. He wiggled out of his jeans and stepped into a pair of loose sweatpants. He needed coffee, stat.

His door opened as quietly as he bid it to, closing it softly behind him as he stepped out into the small hallway. He ventured into the main room and then into the kitchenette, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the coffee maker. He grabbed his favorite mug from the cabinet and placed it below the dispenser, pressing a few buttons. He waited to the side as it heated up, and his eyes trailed into the sitting area.

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight before him. Lance was out cold on their futon. He slept over? 

It wasn’t long before the machine made a noise to alert Keith that his coffee was done. He added a sugar or two and some half and half, taking the blissful first sip.

Well, there was no sitting in the sitting area now, not with Lance’s spindly limbs taking up the whole space. The boy was sprawled out as far as his body would allow, and he was drooling. Gross. He was still in his outfit from the night before, and his shirt was twisted. It was also riding up, revealing a thick sliver of exposed caramel skin.

Keith averted his eyes. Don’t think about it.

He took up a spot on one of the chairs at the table, crossing his legs as he sipped at his still-hot coffee.

It wasn’t long before Allura joined him, taking a mug out of the cabinet (avoiding all the family favorites) and making herself a cup of coffee. She followed Keith’s gaze over to the sleeping figure on the futon.

“Guess he slept over, huh?” she murmured, startling him out of his reverie.

He looked over at her. “Yeah, guess so.” he said, taking a sip of his slowly cooling coffee. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I did. Shiro’s bed is very comfortable.” she said with a wink.

Keith stuck his tongue out. “Gross, Shiro’s gay,” he said with a chuckle.

“I know, I’m kidding.” she said, taking the first sip of her coffee. She sobered a bit. “Keith, what are you thinking? You obviously have something on your mind,”

An impatient sigh came from Keith. “I don’t know, Allura. I don’t really like him. Like, I think he’s not a bad person, but I want so badly for him to not be… around here. I just don’t want to deal with having another person around. Friendships and relationships are so fleeting. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Allura sat down next to him, using her free hand to rub circles into the skin between his shoulder blades. “Keith, you’re obviously distraught over this. What is it about him that makes it so bad about having him around? He’s trying so hard to win you over, and you just keep pushing him away. You’ve had him at arm’s length since the first day you met him, and for what?”

Keith pressed his lips to his mug, mulling her words over. “It’s just a personal thing, Allura. It’s really hard for me to welcome new people into my life because of some things that have happened to me in the past. And I can’t even tell you what those things are.”

“I know things must’ve been hard for you before you came here for you to react to new people the way you do, Keith, but he’s trying so hard to make you see that he’s safe. He just wants to be your friend,” she said.

“Well he can’t be. I’m sorry, Allura.” he downed the last of his coffee and stood from his chair. “I have to go get ready for class.”

Allura watched him go with a sad frown, sighing. She had no idea why Keith was making sure Lance stayed out of his life, and it was all she could do to try to reason with him. But she could tell Lance was wearing thin, and the constant rejection was starting to get to him. She just wanted the best for her friends. There wasn’t anything else she could do in this situation besides watch it play out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang has dinner together!

Keith got a good grade on his art project. He didn’t want to brag, but he hadn’t gotten a single bad one on anything he’d handed in this semester or other. He worked hard on his schoolwork, especially in the art department. He was proud of what he could do with the right tools, the right medium, and the right amount of time.

He smiled to himself at the grade on the rubric before him, unaware of Lance’s approach.

“Hey, Keith, what’d you get on your project?” he asked when he was a few feet away.

Keith jumped, nearly crumpling the paper he held in his hands, turning to glare daggers at the offending human just a few feet away.

“Can you just go away, please?” he growled, no room for politeness in his bitey tone. “God, it’s like you don’t know when to fucking quit,” he said, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

Lance stared after Keith, his hurt expression drawing Pidge over. They placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, looking up at him with a bit of a grimace.

“Hey, dude, you okay?” they asked. “What happened?”

“I asked Keith what he got on his project, and he snapped at me and left.” he said, sighing in defeat. “Do you think I’m doing something wrong by trying to be his friend, even though he wants nothing to do with me?”

Pidge thought for a moment. “No, I don’t. To be honest with you, Keith needs more positive influences in his life. He could use a few more friends. But he needs to accept it on his own terms, not yours. He’ll come around, I think.”

Lance nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right.” He snapped out of it, looking down at the paper in Pidge’s hand. “What’d you get on yours?”

Pidge pouted. “Seventy-six.” they handed Lance their rubric. “He took some points off because I forgot to add some sort of movement, and because I didn’t use my space wisely enough. A couple of other things too, but I care less about that.”

Lance scanned Pidge’s rubric, nodding. “Not bad, not bad.” He glanced around the room and finally spotted Hunk, who was speaking to another classmate. “Hunk,” he called.

Hunk turned and spotted Lance, who was motioning for him to come over. He waved goodbye to his classmate and joined them a moment later.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“What’d you get on your project?” Lance asked him, pointing at his rubric.

Hunk beamed and turned his paper around in his hands to show them. “Ninety-two!”

Lance extended his arm for a high-five. “Alright, go you, dude!”

“Thanks!” he met Lance’s hand with a clap. “How ‘bout you?”

“I got an eighty-three,” Lance said. “Just a few honest mistakes. But I say we go get some coffee or something. Whoever has the lowest grade has to buy,” he teased, elbowing Pidge.

Pidge punched Lance in the arm, adjusting their bag on their shoulder. “Fuck you, McClain, I’m not paying for your goddamn winner’s coffee.”

Hunk and Lance dissolved into giggles as the three made their way out of the building.

“Relax, Pidge, I was joking,” Lance drawled. “Besides, I wouldn’t want your stinky bad-grade money stink on my coffee anyway.”

Pidge rolled their eyes. “‘Stinky bad-grade money stink’?” they asked, raising a brow. “Fine, I just won’t pay for your coffee ever again.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “Not even on my birthday?”

Pidge shook their head as they entered the cafe building. “Not even on your birthday.’’ They pressed inside, not bothering to hold the door for a bewildered Lance.

Keith decided that instead of heading back to their suite today, he’d head to the library and start working on some final papers. He had at least one to do for every class, and knew he’d probably just watch a movie instead if he went back to his room. He settled in at one of the computers on the second floor in the back corner, sticking his headphones in his ears as he got to work.

He worked himself into a groove for a few hours before realizing the time and logging off of the computer. He packed up his papers and turned the computer off, heading out of the library. He felt better having written a whole paper and half of another.

As he headed back to his room, he wondered absently what Hunk was going to make for dinner. He made his way into his building, waving at the young girl behind the desk. He took the elevator up to the second to last floor, exiting the elevator and taking the hall all the way down before stopping in front of the last door on the right.

He fiddled with the knob to find it unlocked, and pushed inside. His jaw dropped.

There on the futon, in his usual spot, was Lance.

Pidge froze mid sentence, causing Hunk to follow their gaze and pause. “H-heyyyy, Keeeiiith,” they said quietly.

Keith glared at the three, beyond furious. “What is he doing here?”

Lance winced. “Hey, Keith, I’m sorry, I-”

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it from you,” he growled, returning his attention to Pidge and Hunk. “What is he doing here?”

Shiro stepped into the room a moment later, his expression guarded. “He’s here because I wanted him to be. I told Pidge and Hunk to invite him up for dinner. We all tried getting in touch with you to let you know, but you weren’t answering.”

Keith gritted his teeth. “I was in the library working on a paper,” he growled.

“Well it’s too bad, Keith, he’s having dinner with us.” Shiro said, placing his hand on his hip. He stared Keith down, daring him to try and counter him.

“If it’s really that big of an issue, I can just leave-” Lance started, moving to stand from the futon.

Shiro raised his hand to halt Lance’s movements, maintaining eye contact with Keith. “No, Lance, you’re fine. Keith just has to accept the fact that you’re our friend now. You’re gonna be over here again at some point he might as well get. Used to it.” he forced the last part of the sentence out through gritted teeth.

Keith glared daggers at Shiro. Shiro was the oldest of the group, and therefore their makeshift leader. His word was always law, unless he was voted against by the majority. No one else seemed displeased with the circumstances, so all Keith could do was groan and shoot Lance a sour look.

He sighed in resignation and grumbled, “Let me know when dinner is ready,” before stalking off to his room.

It was Shiro’s turn to sigh. “Lance, I’m sorry about Keith. I can’t apologize for him, because it wouldn’t be genuine. But I’m sorry for the way he’s treating you.”

Lance shrugged. “Pidge and I talked about it, and they said he’s just coping with a new person in his own way, I think. It’s not a fun time getting treated nasty by someone you don’t know and someone who barely knows you, but if that’s how he’s gonna be, I can’t change it. He’s made it very clear how he feels about me.”

“It still doesn’t justify how long he’s been treating you this way. It’s been over a month.” Shiro replied, sitting on one of the chairs at the table. “He’s being really stubborn about this.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it, though,” Pidge interjected, pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose. “If he’s being stubborn about this, let him. We all know what happens when you try to convince him to change his behavior.”

“What happens?” Lance asked curiously.

“Keith has… an explosive temper.” Hunk started from the stove. “He’s real set in his ways, and real set on having as few people in his life as possible. I mean, I guess that’s easier than having too many people in his life, but he doesn’t like widening his, y’know, inner circle. And doesn’t like to be told he’s wrong. He doesn’t get physical, at least not with us, but he can get really nasty. He’s never gone without apologies, though. If he ever says anything he regrets, it’s only a matter of time before he apologizes for it. We just don’t like hearing what he has to say when he gets mad. The only person who ever puts up with it is Shiro.”

Lance processed this. Keith seemed like the type to have a bit of a temper, but he didn’t really imagine anything like that. He took a breath. “Well, if he ever wants to be my friend, I’ll let him decide.” he said finally with a nod, then changed the subject. “Hunk, my man, whatever it is you’re cooking smells like heaven,” he hummed.

Hunk chuckled from his spot in front of the stove. “Thanks, dude! Culinary minor,” he explained, carefully tasting his spoon as he lifted it to his lips. He hummed and added a bit more spice before stirring thoroughly and tasting it a second time. He nodded his approval.

It didn’t take long for him to wrap up the cooking part of dinner, and the other three set the table as he served.

“Ah, Pidge, go get Keith,” Shiro said, placing a cup near his plate.

Pidge nodded, setting the last fork down and heading into the hall. They knocked lightly on Keith’s door. “Hey, Keith, buddy, dinner’s ready,” they said. They listened for a response with their ear to the door.

Within a few moments, Keith was opening the door, nearly knocking Pidge off their balance. He stared down at them, unamused. He had changed into sweatpants and a loose-fitting t-shirt. His hair was tied back in a shabby pony. He didn’t look unkempt, but he wasn’t on his way to a formal event, either.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, waiting for Pidge to start heading back into the main room to follow.

Lance looked up when Pidge returned with Keith, giving him a little wave. Keith looked at him for a moment but didn’t return the gesture, opting to sit as far away from him at their small table as he could manage. Lance turned to Hunk who shrugged.

As soon as everyone was seated, Hunk cleared his throat. “Everyone, tonight for dinner, we have eggplant involtini with mojo sauce, a mildly spicy treat for our new Cuban friend,” he said, gesturing to the main dish. “I made a bunch of different vegetable sides and such. Dig in!”

Lance grinned. “Everything looks awesome,” he said, serving himself some eggplant.

“Thanks,” he said. “Next time you’re over, I’ll cook you Samoan food.”

“Really?” he asked excitedly. “That sounds great!”

Pidge pouted and elbowed Huk from their spot next to him. “Why don’t you ever cook Samoan food for us?”

Shiro chuckled from the head of the table. “Pidge, Hunk made us some Samoan food last week,”

“I was busy studying and only got leftovers,” they grumbled.

Lance snorted, taking a grateful first bite. “I feel that,” he said, then turned to Hunk. “Tastes just as good as it looks, buddy, thanks,”

Hunk beamed after swallowing his first bite. “Thank you, McClain,”

The table fell quiet for a couple of minutes as everyone began to eat, and soon enough, everyone but Keith was talking animatedly. He was barely listening, though, as he poked at his food.

Lance cast several glances in Keith’s direction, hoping to include him in the conversation, but Keith’s eyes stayed glued on his plate until it was nearly empty.

When he was full, he stood from the table, thanked Hunk for his meal, and brought his plate over to the kitchenette to rinse and put in the sink. He bid everyone goodnight and gave Lance a long look before averting his eyes and stalking into the depths of their room.

Lance stared wistfully after Keith for a moment before returning to the conversation. The four of them sat a while longer, even after they were done eating. It was Shiro who finally called it a night, declaring that old men needed their rest.

Pidge pointed out that they were all more or less the same age, to which Shiro replied with a prompt, “Shut up, you gremlin child, you are the baby of this household”.

Pidge flipped him the bird with a sickly sweet smile before leaving the table to rinse their plate and head to bed.

Hunk started by taking the serving dishes to the counter and wrapping them to store in the fridge. Shiro started washing the dishes, and Lance took the opportunity to help by drying them and putting them away.

Shiro and Hunk tried telling him at least four times that he didn’t live there, he didn’t have to help, but each time, Lance insisted. It didn’t take them much longer to finish cleaning up, and before they knew it, Lance was tugging his trademark blue sneakers on and wishing them a good night.

As soon as the door was shut and Shiro could no longer hear Lance’s footsteps down the hall, he turned to Hunk with a sigh.

Hunk raised a brow. “I think that went… well,” he said after thinking for the right word.

“That’s a bit of an overstatement,” Shiro admitted. “That was incredibly awkward,”

His friend shrugged. “I think it could’ve gone worse, but that might be my hopeless optimism,”

The former chuckled. “I think you might be right.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I think at this point, we can only hope that Keith’ll come around on his own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith plays 'bad cop-bad cop'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple more chapters and I'll be going on Hiatus! When I post chapter 8 I'll drop my social media so whoever wants the updates can stay posted!

On their final day of art class, Keith and the rest of his classmates gingerly handed in their projects, and Professor Coran treated them all to some pizza, candy, and a movie. It was nice and quiet, the soft buzz of hushed conversation not quite drowning out the audio.

The class ended all too quickly, with the mournful goodbyes to their beloved professor, and promises amongst classmates to hang out over the break.

After Keith had said his final goodbye to Professor Smythe, he turned around to find Hunk and Pidge. He quickly spotted them towards the left-hand side of the room and headed towards them, realizing all too late that they were talking to Lance.

He hesitated a few feet away, and Lance spotted him. He smiled and waved. “Hey, Keith,” he said, causing Hunk and Pidge to turn around.

“Oh, hey, buddy,” Hunk said with a smile. “Wanna go to the cafe after this?”

Keith wanted to excuse himself with too much homework, but now that the semester was over, he couldn’t bury himself in schoolwork to protect himself from interacting with his peers.

He sighed and shrugged. “I don’t have anything better to do,” he mumbled, fiddling with his backpack strap on his shoulder.

Pidge and Hunk exchanged an impressed glance. “Wow, Keith, that was the least amount of resistance you’ve put up to anything ever,” Pidge teased.

Keith glared at them. “Shut up or I’ll change my mind,” he growled.

Hunk held up his hands in surrender. “Understood. Shall we?” 

The four made their way out of the building and took their usual route through the courtyard. Shiro was waiting for them in the cafe, sitting alone at a table that would fit all of them. He waved eagerly as soon as he spotted the four, gesturing for them to join him.

He raised a brow as soon as they were in hearing distance. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Keith,” he said, amused.

The latter turned his head, staring off through the window with a disgruntled expression. “You and everyone else, apparently.” he grumbled. “I come sometimes,”

Shiro chuckled. “Relax, dude, I’m just teasing.”

The four dropped their things and ordered, returning shortly with their drinks. They all hung out for a few hours, and conversation carried like normal. Keith even involved himself a few times, and found out that Lance was going to be going home for most of the break.

Pidge and Hunk also mentioned going to visit their families for a week or two, which bummed Keith out a bit. Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge were his only real friends on campus, and not having them around for extended periods of time meant he would be lonely and bored for the entirety of their absence. Without class or schoolwork to keep him busy, he sort of relied on his friends to keep him entertained and involved. This was gonna be a bit of a tough break.

“I’ll probably be here for New Year’s, though,” Lance said.

Keith found himself tuning into the conversation, despite who the person starting it was.

Pidge grinned. “Can’t miss any of those legendary New Year’s parties, can you, McClain?” they said, elbowing him.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Of course not, Gunderson, who do you take me for?”

Keith sighed. Parties. He didn’t mind going to them, but New Year’s parties were always crazy. He wondered who was gonna be hosting the party this year. There was always the one that everyone and their goddamn mother ended up at. Last year, it was held at one of the boy’s frat houses.

“I think that one really big sorority that Allura hangs out with is hosting the really big one this year,” Hunk said, taking a sip of his coffee. “At least that’s what she told me,”

“Count me there,” Lance said, an eager grin on his face. “You guys think you’ll go?”

“Of course, dude,” Hunk said, high-fiving him.

“Yeah, probably,” Pidge nodded, looking over at Shiro. “I know old fart over here will definitely be there. Especially cause Adam will probably be there,”

Shiro flicked Pidge in the arm. “Can it, gremlin,” he said, no malice in his voice. A soft blush bloomed on his cheeks, surrounding and kind of cloaking the scar across his nose.  
The conversation finally turned in Keith’s direction. “You gonna go, Kogane?” Pidge asked slyly, raising a brow.

Keith felt a bit spotlighted, but shrugged nonchalantly anyway. “Maybe,” he said. “I’m not the biggest fan of huge parties like that, but it might be fun.”  
Lance smiled to himself at the answer.

They carried on together for a couple more hours in the cafe, until Lance got a text. He glanced at his phone, frowning for a moment before turning to the rest of the group.

“Sorry, guys, I gotta go. I’ll maybe see you all before I leave?” he asked hopefully, his eyes lingering on Keith.

“Yeah, Lance, definitely,” Hunk said, reaching up to do some handshake with Lance.

“Cool,” came the latter’s reply. He waved, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and leaving the cafe.

Keith wasn’t stupid, he noticed Lance’s hesitation. He saw him stare. He pressed his lips to the hole in the top of his cup, watching the space where Lance’s form was before it opened the door and slipped outside.

What did that mean? Why did he look directly at him? Out of everyone at the table, why him?

He caught himself in his reverie and turned his attention back to the table to just catch Hunk looking at him, too. Oh, that wasn’t suspicious or anything.

Immediately, Hunk knew he’d been caught, and he could feel the intensity of Keith’s suspicious gaze. He chanced a look at his friend and immediately regretted it. Yup, he was definitely caught.

When the four finally decided to disband, Keith’s hand on his shoulder kept Hunk from standing.

“You guys coming?” Shiro asked, turning.

“Yeah, we’ll just be a minute. I have to talk to Hunk about something.” Keith said, smiling and waving them off. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back with enough time for Hunk to make dinner.”

“Okay, see you guys in a bit,” the elder said, nodding to Pidge. The two exited the cafe, leaving Keith with a panicked Hunk.

Keith turned his sharp gaze onto Hunk. “Spill it, Garrett, you’re hiding something.”

“How do you figure?” he asked, averting his eyes.

“When Lance left, he stared at me when he was asking if we’d see him before he left.” Keith pointed out.

“W-well, you have been really cold to him, he was probably just hoping that after your birthday, you’d turned around a bit,”

“That’s a pretty specific guess for someone who was staring at me after he walked out,”

“You were staring at him,”

“I was, but then you looked back at me to see if I was still staring at you.”

“Yeah, cause I felt you staring,”

“Hunk, you’re sweating.”

“It’s warm in here.”

“The window is open.”

Hunk groaned loudly, throwing his arms up and letting them fall heavily into his lap. “Fine, Keith! You fucking got me, I do know something,”

Keith grinned. “I fucking knew it,” he said. “What is it?”

“It’s not my place to tell you,” Hunk said quickly.

Keith raised a dark brow. “Oh? What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I can’t tell you,”

“Why not?”

“Because, well-”

“Does it have to do with Lance and why he was staring at me before?”

“Yes, but-”

“But what?”

“Jesus, Keith, would you shut up for a minute and let me explain?” Hunk snapped.

Keith flinched. “Yeah, sorry,” he said, realizing how close he was to Hunk. He leaned back.

Hunk took a deep breath. “It’s not my place to say because it’s Lance’s business. It’s something he told me that’s personal, and something that he needed to get off his chest. He’s scared about it, but it does have to do with you. I think… I think he might even bring it up to you himself soon, with the way he looked at you before. But it’s his business if he wants to or not. You don’t make it easy for people to confront you. Him especially.”

Keith processed this, scanning Hunk’s face with his eyes.

“I can tell you don’t see him the same as before,” Hunk added after a moment. “The way you looked at him as he was leaving… it was almost like you wanted him to come back and stay.”

Keith’s face contorted in a mix of disgust, discomfort, and something else Hunk couldn’t really pin down. “You’re wrong. I don’t like him. He’s my complete opposite, and hanging around him drains me,” 

“Keith, you aren’t even really giving the dude a chance,” Hunk said, trying to hold eye contact with his obviously distraught friend.

Keith couldn’t take Hunk’s eyes. He was right. He was completely right, and he didn’t want him to know that. He didn’t totally despise Lance anymore, if at all. He actually had a lot of fun with him on his birthday, but he didn’t want to accept the fact that he really was warming up to another person. Hunk was right, and his soft, almost yellow brown eyes were completely digging into him.

He sighed in frustration. “You told me what you can. Let’s just get back so you can make dinner.”

“Keith,” Hunk started. 

“Come on, it’s getting dark,” the latter snapped, slipping his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Fine,” he sighed, standing and slinging his backpack over his shoulders.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

Just as Keith knew it would be, his time spent alone with Shiro while his friends were away visiting family was tough. He loved Shiro to bits, but the man was just as emotionally nosy as Hunk was, and eventually he found himself fleeing to his room every time he mentioned Lance.

He refused to face this on any other terms than his own, and that was just something Shiro wasn’t getting. On the downside, being cagey was just grounds for even more questions and suspicion, and he could feel himself going crazy.

Allura wasn’t even any help. As soon as he told her this was about the situation between himself and Lance, she was asking the same question Shiro was.

How do you feel about him?

The thing was, he didn’t know. And how could he? He had no idea how Lance felt about him! He had no clue what Lance was going to confront him about when he did it. He racked his brain over and over, and every possibility he thought of just seemed so… unrealistic to him. Wrong. Like it couldn’t possibly be the reason.

So how the hell was he supposed to gauge his own feelings?

The only thing he was certain of was that he no longer hated Lance. Not that he ever really  _ did _ hate him. He just didn’t like him. A lot.

But what the hell could be so personal and private that it could warrant a confrontation that made Keith sweat over?

For the two and a half weeks that Hunk was in Hawaii, Keith thought. And even when that two and a half weeks was over, he still found himself unable to come to a conclusion, to a final thought.

Hunk was still as tight-lipped when he came home as he was that day in the cafe. Which left Keith beside himself.

Another thing that had him reeling was that no one else in their supposedly tight-knit unit knew this thing that Hunk knew.

None of it made sense.

Before he knew it, Pidge was back, too, and then he was just secretly counting down the days till Lance’s return.

The thing was, he didn’t see Lance at all when he came back. The boy made himself scarce, and no one could really pin him down. He apparently, from what Keith heard from Pidge, was very focused on signing up for all of his classes next semester before the parties started. 

Weeks flew, and before everyone realized it, the year was ending. People all over the campus were throwing parties, and as predicted, that one sorority was throwing the biggest party of the year. They even went as far as handing out fliers. It was posted all over the campus’s social media, and it was all anyone was talking about.

Keith almost couldn’t take it.

He was sitting with Hunk one morning while they both sipped at warm coffee. He turned to his friend. “I don’t get why everyone’s so excited about this dumb party,” he started. “I mean, it’s been the same thing every year.”

Hunk shrugged. “This campus practically lives off of parties. Everyone gets pumped for New Year’s. It just gives them a chance to party while it’s this gross out.”

Keith sighed. “I don’t even think I want to go. There’s gonna be way too many people there, and I don’t want to be in the middle of a million kisses at midnight.”

“Oh, come on, Keith! You should go! It’s gonna be fun,” Hunk said, nudging him lightly. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll be one of those million kisses,”

The former made a face. “You’re kidding, right? Do you even know me?”

“Yeah, but you’ll probably be drunk anyway, right?”

Keith rolled his eyes. 

Hunk grinned. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. Come to the party with Pidge and me, and if you aren’t having fun, you can leave, okay?”

“Fine,” he replied after a moment.

Hunk got up and put his now-empty mug in the sink, breaking out his phone. He typed out and sent a message to Pidge, ‘ _ He’s going _ .’

A couple minutes later, Pidge replied. ‘ _ Sweet, I’ll check in with you-know-who _ .’

‘ _ Okay, let me know how it goes. _ ’

With that, Hunk retreated into his room to get ready for the day, leaving Keith on the couch with his thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, so sorry this is a day late! Got caught up in New Year's celebrations. Anyway, here's the last chapter of Part One! I'll add in my instagram and twitter at the end so I can keep you all posted on when Part Two is gonna go up. But for now, a brief hiatus while I finish writing Part Three! Please enjoy the finale of Part One, I very much enjoyed writing it.

Keith was not ready for this stupid party. Even standing outside of the sorority house was a lot. There were people outside on the lawn, like something out of a movie. He stood with his arms crossed, staring at the front door and taking a breath. He glanced at his friends.

Hunk was wearing a warm yellow sweater and dark khakis, covered by a thick brown jacket. He wore brown shoes to complete the look. He looked dapper.

Pidge, on the other hand, looked like they were born ready for this party. They wore a white button-up with a forest green sweater over it. Despite the cold, they wore high-waisted denim shorts and fishnets, with ankle high, platform combat boots. They were wearing makeup for once. They looked good, and they knew it.

Keith was wearing a red sweater, black jeans, his grey sneakers, and his leather jacket. He was also wearing his trademark grey beanie. He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath, glancing at his friends as he led the way inside.

Inside, it was just as he expected. The music got considerably louder as soon as they opened the door, and the whole place was bursting with people. Almost everyone had a drink in their hand. There were two tables in the back where people were playing beer pong, and Keith could smell weed from the stairs.

He saw a few familiar faces as he traversed the house, waving noncommittally at classmates. He spotted Allura and waved, and she gasped and ran over.

“Keith! You came!” she squealed, hugging him.

He chuckled breathlessly (as she had just squeezed the life out of him). “Yeah, I did,” he mumbled.

“Have you seen Lance? Him and I came together but he left to go get a drink and hasn’t come back yet,” she asked, scanning the crowd.

Keith shrugged. “No, Pidge, Hunk and I just got here,” he said. “Good luck finding him, I’m gonna go grab a drink.”

“Okay, see you around!” she said, waving him off and rejoining her friends.

He huffed. Lance was here. Of fucking course he was. He  _ really _ needed a drink.

Lance had somehow wound up in one of the bedrooms upstairs with a bunch of stoners. He had attempted to make his way into the kitchen to make himself a new drink (as his had gotten knocked over), and someone took him upstairs before he could grab Allura’s attention. The person had mistaken him for someone else she knew, and he was going to just head back downstairs, but he decided to take a few hits of what was being passed around.

He was feeling more of the high than his drink, and he needed that to change. He had had a really rough week, what with trying to get all of his academic shit in order, and just needed to feel way less than he was feeling now.

He wanted to feel good, not stressed. Luckily, his drink was now full again, and he was already sucking it down.

Time was flying for Keith. Somehow, every time he looked at the clock, another hour had passed. He couldn’t really tell what was happening, but he knew he had to pee.

He was borderline drunk when he entered the bathroom. Luckily, no one else was in there. He relieved himself as quickly as possible, and washed his hands as best as he could in his rather intoxicated state. He was making sure his reflection looked okay when who but fucking Lance stumbled in.

Lance had promised Allura that they’d be together when the ball dropped tonight, because neither of them came with dates. He was going to try and find her, but his bladder had other plans. So he checked every door until he found a nice, quiet bathroom to take care of business in.

The last person he expected to find in it was Keith.

“Lance?!” Keith practically squeaked, backing up against the far wall.

“Oh, shit, hey Keith,” Lance replied, closing and locking the door. “Mind if I uh… mind if I pee?”

Keith swallowed. “No, I’m done, uh, go ahead,” he said. He scooted around him and sat in the tub, which had a wall that blocked sight of the toilet. He tried and failed to not listen awkwardly as Lance unbuttoned his pants, did his business, flushed, and zipped back up. The latter came back into view in front of the sink as he washed his hands.

When he was done, he placed his hands on the sink counter and hung his head, falling silent.

“Lance?” Keith called quietly, pushing himself clumsily out of the tub.

“Keith, I… I’m really glad I ran into you in here. I… I really need to talk to you about something.” Lance started, sparing a glance at Keith over his shoulder.

Keith swallowed. “I do, too,”

Lance turned to face him. “You do?”

“Yeah, it’s about something Hunk told me.” he took a breath.

Lance’s expression shifted. “He… he told you?”

“Well, he told me you have something to tell me,” he started. “And, look, Lance, I just want to say, I don’t… I don’t hate you. I never have. I’m… just really scared of being hurt by people.”

“Oh, Keith, I would never-”

“Lance, I’ve been thinking about what it could possibly be that you gotta tell me since before you fucking left to see your family,” Keith started, desperation creeping into his tone. “I have not thought about literally anything else. I can’t think of any possible thing ever you’d need to confront me about. I’ve gone over everything it could be a million fucking times, and I just can’t… Nothing makes sense,”

Lance’s eyebrows knitted. His Adam’s apple bobbed with a thick, nervous gulp.

“Is it-” he sighed in exasperation. “Do you ha-”

“No, that’s not it,” Lance cut him off before he could get the word out. “I’m not here to tell you I hate you for the way you’ve treated me.”

“Then what?” Keith asked, stepping closer. “Please, Lance, tell me what the fuck this is, I’m losing sleep over it,”

Just then, the countdown to the ball drop started outside the bathroom door.

“ _ Twenty!” _

“Lance, please,”

“ _ Nineteen!” _

“Keith, I have to get back to Allura,”

“ _ Eighteen! Seventeen!” _

Keith grabbed the sleeve of Lance’s shirt as he headed for the bathroom door.

“ _ Sixteen! Fifteen! Fourteen!” _

“Don’t leave, please,”

“ _ Thirteen! Twelve!” _

“Keith, I don’t know if I can do this,”

“ _ Eleven! Ten! Nine!” _

“Do what? Lance, tell me,”

“ _ Eight! Seven! Six!” _

Lance bit his lip and stared hard at the door.

“ _ Five! Four! Three! Two!” _

“Fuck it,”

“ _ ONE!” _

As cheers erupted outside the bathroom door, Lance pulled Keith in close and smashed their lips together. He kissed him with all the pent-up passion and frustration he felt, with all the anxiety this conversation was bringing him, with all the love he wanted to share with him.

Keith’s eyes went wide for a moment, but he melted into the kiss, doing his best in his drunken state to keep the rhythm. But before he knew it, Lance was pulling away. The two looked at each other for a moment before it really hit Keith what just happened.

“Shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit,” Keith hissed. “Fuck, Lance, I’m sorry, I have to go,” he said, pushing past him.

He hastily (and very clumsily) unlocked the bathroom door, pushing into the throes of drunk, high, and cross-faded students. He nearly tripped over his feet getting down the stairs.

Lance stared after him, dumbfounded. What the fuck? He was sure Keith was trying to kiss him back,  _ was _ kissing him back, so why did he leave like that?

Keith found Hunk and Pidge in the middle of the living room downstairs. Tears were forming in his eyes when he tugged on Hunk’s sweater.

His friend turned at the nagging feeling, and upon seeing Keith’s completely distraught expression, he turned to Pidge and signaled that it was time for them to go.

Pidge agreed begrudgingly at first, but slipped their arm around Keith as they exited the house and traversed the yard. Nothing they asked Keith was reaching him.

He was crying and drunk and all he wanted was his bed.

It took them about twenty minutes to stumble back onto campus and into their building. They rode the elevator in silence up to their floor, and wordlessly slipped Keith into their dorm. Pidge took their arm back and kissed him on the cheek, wishing him a good night’s sleep as he shuffled, defeated, to his room.

He closed and locked his door behind him, stripping down to his underwear and crawling under his comforter.

Happy New Year, Keith. Things just got so much more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My instagram is @paradox.slime, and my twitter is @parad0xslime. I'll post updates there!


End file.
